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Finding My Roots

Location: Cannon Beach, Oregon

“…The monotonous fall of the waves on the beach, which for the most part beat a measured and soothing tattoo to her thoughts, seemed consolingly to repeat over and over again” – Virginia Woolf

A few weeks ago I spent a week visiting Portland, Oregon with my older brother. It started out as a trip to spend one on one time with my brother and to see the place where I was born. What it actually became was a week of clarification, revitalization, and connection with my personal history.  I am a North Dakotan girl that always felt a bit like I didn’t belong where my Midwestern feet were planted and have spent my whole life trying to figure out where I should be. It has caused an insatiable wanderlust for exploring new places in effort to find the place where I feel like I fit. My years in London are the closest I’ve ever felt to belonging to a space but that came with so many challenges and so, my search continues.

I will always remember my first adult visit to Oregon because it did, in a sense, feel like I went home. I am lucky to have so many family members and old friends that my brother helped reintroduce me to, all of whom shared fond memories of my parents and myself as a baby. It was quite moving to learn that there is a piece of myself that belongs with these wonderful people- that I have a history that I myself am only beginning to connect with.

This post features photos from my favorite day of the trip- our visit to Cannon Beach, Oregon. My brother and I spent the whole day just walking up and down the beach, playing in tide pools, and getting thoroughly soaked and loving it. I am drawn to the ocean and have always loved a rocky coastline more than a flat and manicured beach. I felt so intensely happy and calm during this day at Cannon Beach- it clarified for me the idea that life always moves ahead and that everything always works out exactly as it should (even when that means lots of tears). Everything felt possible while standing and looking at the cliffs- I was in my happy place and nothing could keep me from feeling safe there. The ocean (and nature in general) is where I reconnect with my inner spirit and, most importantly, where I dream. I have always been a dreamer and I think I might always be. Oregon felt like home and I know I will return many times-both to remember my past and to revitalize my mind and soul so that I can continue to dream in bliss. Thank you Sam for giving me this wonderful opportunity-mostly because it was with you.

 

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  • Molly

    This brings tears to my eyes–happy tears!!!! So beautifully written.

  • RJO

    Wonderful post and pictures. I can hear the waves and the sounds of the birds. I can still smell the salty air and feel the rough rocks and wet sand.

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